Training ain’t just spanking
We’ve talked a lot about discipline and how we reach the ultimate goal of obedience over the last few weeks. I have been able to share my views and my methods on discipline with anyone who would read them even though they are a little over the top for some, and disagreeing with Big Daddy seems to be a fun activity here. Discipline is a huge part of training our children, but we as mom and dad do so much more for the kids than obedience training and I think that if you’re not careful, you will miss out on why we are doing it in the first place. The spiritual growth of the kids is first and foremost. If we have perfectly obedient kids that are on the road to hell, then what was the point? If, after 18 years of training, they want nothing to do with your faith or God at all, then all was in vain. You see, we are raising the next generation of Christians; not businessmen, not rich entrepreneurs, but Christian leaders. Now if you’re not a Christian, you obviously are not doing this; but I am, so that’s my goal. So how do you do this? You drag them to church with you 3 times a week so they get plenty of God, right? Only if you want to see how fast they can run at age 18. Deuteronomy Chapter 11 is the preferred method of the Taylor home.
18 Therefore shall you lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul; and you shall bind them for a sign on your hand, and they shall be for symbols between your eyes.
19 You shall teach them your children, talking of them, when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.
20 You shall write them on the door-posts of your house, and on your gates;
21 that your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which Yahweh swore to your fathers to give them, as the days of the heavens above the earth.
You should make it a part of your life, not a Sunday morning routine. Right now my family is trying to memorize Matthew 5-7, its around 100 verses, and I hate to admit, but my 7 year old son has the first 20 down, and I’m still struggling through 1-10. But we have these verses written on our walls in the kitchen and in the living room. Its always there, reminding us all who we are. My 3 year old has a good bit memorized too. Right now Gavin is listening to the new testament on CD before he goes to bed. He’s going through 1 disk a night. Its covered in 15 CD’s. That means he will have completed the entire new testament in 2 weeks! Most adults could take up to 6 months to read it. We have instilled a love for God in him that we continuously feed and nurture. And we are doing the same with the girls. As Christians, we are called to be evangelists, but what right do we have teaching others about God, if we neglect to win our own kids.
I could go on about that for a while, but I’ll move on. We also train our kids in purity. My wife just bought Avery (the 3 yr old) a book called “The Princess and the Kiss”. It about a princess that is given a special gift from God when she is born, her first kiss. She is to hold on to that kiss until she finds the right man to marry and give it to him. In this world of free love and sex on demand, we have to protect our children from falling into this trap. And using my very large gun collection will unfortunately not do the job. The values need to be ingrained in their heart from a very early age. If you wait until it’s applicable, you better get out the guns. We should also train our boys to be men, not just older boys. They should be taught to treat women the same way we expect our daughters to be treated. Respect and reverence should be shown to a wife and your example will teach more than your words on that one. And for us, getting rid of the TV was necessary to show them that we weren’t finding joy in the things we were teaching them not to do. Sex is one of the best parts of marriage and I don’t want to see that ruined for them by not equipping them with the tools necessary to fight the temptation that is sure to come. That is why we homeschool, because the kids that they see will give them those temptations long before they are ready to combat them.
Kids are an amazing gift, but to get the most out of them, you have to be willing to give a lot of self. They will know if your boat, job, cars or anything else is more important than them, and you will know too as soon as they can make their own decisions and sometimes before that. So enjoy them, train them, and be a Godly example to them. You owe it to them. Don’t let them down. And remember, they WILL be trained in life, but who will do it? You or the boy down the street with a Mohawk and 16 rings in his head?
Join the fray. Read through the following comments and add to the discussion at the end.
March 27, 2006 at 1:20 am
Big Daddy,
You bring up many excellent points. We live in a culture that tells us kids should be happy above all else. And while that is always a nice goal, I’m convinced that it’s more important that our children are holy, not just happy. Sometimes being holy means avoiding the values of this world.
You last point is also important. Our children will be trained, the only question is by whom? I applaud you and your wife for making the training of your children a top priority.