I’ve turned into one of them

When I first got out of school and started my first ‘real’ job, I remember giving my boss and other older co-workers grief for seemingly talking about nothing except their house and especially their kids.  Jeesh, I thought, couldn’t these guys talk about REAL stuff like football, beer, movies and possibly more football?  Do we really need to know how much mulch you spread last weekend or how much little Suzie ate last night at the Olive Garden?  C’mon, people, us single guys are dying of boredom here.

Then I got married and I found myself starting to insert comments regarding MY yard and how you could get mulch cheaper at Home Depot this week.  “Did I just say that?”, screamed my ever-shrinking singlehood mentality.  Instead of how wasted I got at the club this weekend, I was touting the new specials at Olive Garden.  What the?!

Then I became a dad and all bets were off.  You’d think I was Gwen’s sporting agent and I was trying to get her a new long-term contract.  Hey guys, guess what Gwen did last night?  And don’t get me started with the pictures… I went from having zero personal pictures at my desk to having a Gwen Shrine that is slowly overtaking all open desk and wall space.  A computer desktop background that is updated regularly—I’m sure the Gwen ‘06 Screensaver will be coming soon.

It’s not just that I spend a good portion of my non-working time with Gwen.  I just simply can’t stop thinking about how much I love her.  Don’t get me wrong. There are times (primarily at 2 AM when she’s screaming like a Banshee on crystal meth) when I’m not in my most loving mood, but they always seem to evaporate as soon as she smiles, giggles or pulls the ultimate melter and says “Da-da”.  My single days were fun but I wouldn’t trade them for the unbelievable experiences I’m having as a dad.

So, watch out young recruits.  Although you may not be able to appreciate it now, one day you will more than likely become one of us and talk endlessly about your children.  Trust me, it’s better than you could ever imagine.