Back-talk monster

First, I apologize for not posting the past 2 months.  I had a death in the family, was sick for 6 weeks (no really, I was- and it sucked)- it’s been a bit crazy around the “cubicle”.  Since moving and starting my new job...I’ve been working a little more, and having less time to do things I enjoy...like blogging, home brewing and watching the Bulls- though they give me enough reason to not watch.  I choose instead to spend time with “my ladies”.  That and I’ve been in a “rut”...not knowing what to blog about...feeling instead of posting about how busy I am that nothing was better.

But I have to talk about this...to seek advice, to vent, to let it all out.  Not because I’m frustrated, well maybe a little...but mostly because it’s freaking funny.  I’ve written about my daughter going through her terrible two’s a couple of times.  I’d link to other entries, but I’m lazy.  No, tired (for reasons listed above).  RM’s (short for rug monkey) Toddlerzilla act has evolved, seemingly overnight, into something more dastardly...the Back-talk Monster!!!  (Cue screams, and dramatic music)

The “terrible two” tantrums have become more shorter in length...still funny...but shorter.  They’ve been replaced with the back talk.  Oh sure, I know it’s only the beginning...she hits 13, and look out.  The back talk is a little frustrating, but harder to not laugh at...the thinking is, laughing reinforces back talk, so don’t do it.  Instead we each put on our best poker face.  Which confuses me, how does my kid have a poker face?  And know how to play poker?  Who has she been hanging out with? 

We stare each other down...me: “please stop playing with your food, and eat...please.”
Her: “no.”
Me:  “sweetie...it’s not play time.  please finish your dinner.”
Her (headshake, funny angry look):  “no.”
Me:  “(Full name), stop pretending your corn-filled spoon is an airplane crashing into your hair.  Please eat.  Stop painting the table with your mashed potatoes!”
Her:  “uhhhnnnn. no”

This continues until we reach “the choice"..."do this or you go in timeout”.  Which inevitably ends in...yep, you guessed it, time out.  My daughter and the time out chair seem to have bonded...she visits daily...multiple times some days.

RMs reaction is comedy gold!  It’s really not her response...more her tone/ inflection, and facial expressions.  It’s extremely hard to keep a straight face, let alone trying to reason with her. It’s like toddler debate really, and to be safe...9 times out of ten...plan on losing.  Atleast I do...helps keep things in perspective. 

Anyone else dealt with the back-talk monster?  Any tips?  Stories?

In the grand scheme of my family...I know I’m outnumbered 2-1...I’m quickly learning to choose my battles, to take a stand, and when to run and find a safe place.