My last post, I talked about our impending move.  We knew it was coming at some point...but not so much when it’d go down.  Well, we do now...I accepted an offer a week ago, and I’m excited.  Though it looks like it will be a 2 part move...in 2 weeks I’ll move, and start working.  The following weekend we’ll tackle Phase 2- the rest of our stuff and my wife and daughter. 

So shortly after I accepted the offer, while driving back down to Urbana, my head became a jumble of questions:  Will my wife find a decent part time job?  Will daycare work out ?  How much will said care giver cost?  What about my commute?  Should we spend the money and get movers?  Or just get some guys to load and unload the truck?  I could go on...but I think I’ve painted enough of the picture. 

In reality though, our next big “obstacle” is finding daycare for our daughter...near our home, in our budget, and that isn’t scary.  So between getting moving quotes, working, mapping out our neighborhood and pertinent locations, swiping every empty box I see at work, I’ve started googling and calling the daycare places near our new place.  And I think we found one...though we still need to visit and make sure it’s not a sweat shop or some crazy place where the kids get locked up in cages or something.  I’m sure the place will be fine- actually Pam went there when she was little...so I take that as a good sign.

I am glad Kaelyn is 2-1/2...I think that will help her in the long run with this move.  She’ll be leaving her friends from daycare, and her daycare person, who she’s been with since she was about 2-1/2 months old.  She may not even fully realize that we won’t see them anymore because we’re moving away.  Though I think she’ll really love Chicago and being near family.

Next month when I post we’ll hopefully be settled in Chicago, enjoying life.  See ya then!

After being sick last week you might imagine my surprise this morning when I woke up and felt a little queezy.  What?  Are you kidding me?  Sick again!?!?!  Or maybe its from lack of sleep.  It may be a part of it...any other night I would have slept just fine.  But no, not last night...because my wife and daughter have caught what I had.  And most dads know, if either your wife or child is up- you’re up.

The more I thought about it, I realized its nerves. I’m overwhelmed...again.  So I decided I’d use my post today on DadBloggers to talk about it.  To share what’s running through the mind of a working dad, who is about to move back home to Chicago, on the verge of starting a new job (in theory), and has a phone interview this morning at 11am.

This feeling has come and gone a lot this last month...ever since my wife got into grad school at UIC.  The past 4 weeks have been a roller coaster ride around confidence, up and down freaking out, and back through a loop of calm.  All the pressure has shifted to me and yeah, sure I’ve put a lot of that on myself, but its pressure none the less.  Right now it centers around my job hunt.  Its up to me to support the family for the next 4 years....so I can’t settle for any job.  I need to make enough money, while at the same time finding a job I like- to keep me from ending up on the roof shouting at people most likely in a drunken stupor.  I also want a good enough job to take care of my wife and daughter...I’ve had visions of us gathering around a fire, in our cardboard box, eating ramen, while I pluck away on my ukelele to try and entertain the family.

That gets compounded with the home hunt, daycare hunt, doctor hunt, and you can see where it might make a guy physically ill.  Don’t get me wrong, this is exciting too.  The chance to move back home, near our family and friends is fantastic.  Today though, it seems like a lot has to happen before we get to all the fantasticness.  Yeah I know everything will work out, we’ll be fine.  I know that...I just go through mornings like today once in a while.  I’m fine...I’ll go have some coffee, and attack the day.

Heck, we’ve found a new place- so we won’t be homeless. 

We hear it a lot these days from friends, family and co-workers…"when are you going to have another kid?” With our daughter, a toddler in her “terrible twos” (Which are more funny than frustrating) evolving into quite the little person- I sometimes wonder if and when we’ll have another child.  And believe me, I can sit up nights, or talk my wife’s ear off when I wonder or worry.

We both work full time, plus my wife is also going to school- taking classes to get ready for whichever Pharmacy Grad program lets her in.  And this past month into next, while we wait for word from the 4 programs she applied for, we’ve talked about having another child.  We both want to give our daughter a little brother or sister.  Though after we look where we’re at I’m not sure it will happen anytime soon.

If my wife gets in to a Pharm-D program, we’ll be looking at her being in school for 4 years.  Ok, yeah…it’s not that long.  We could have a child while she’s in school but I think it’d be too difficult.  Money will be tight…she’ll be working less and I’ll be working a bit more to try to make up the difference.

Ok, so let’s say we wait until she’s done, I mean it’s not that far off.  Four years from now our daughter will be 6, I’ll be 36, and my wife 32.  But we’ll have packed on 4 more years of student loans, on top of my gargantuan amount.  My wife will be starting a new career, if we move…we’d have all of that to look forward to as well.

I also worry if our next child would be “ok”.  Our daughter was born with a heart defect; had open heart surgery 2 days after she was born.  She is doing fabulously now.  In our last follow up appointment with her cardiologist we discussed having more children, and there’s a chance that any future children would have a defect as well.  I don’t wish that on anyone…the defect, the surgery, or watching your child or any loved one go through that.

As you can see I think about this way too much sometimes- ok, I’ve dwelled on it a bit.  Though I’ve finally been able to come to a place where I’ll let life happen.  Whatever happens, we’ll find a way to make it work.  From our 2 years together as a family I’ve learned that as long as we’re together, we can handle it.  So to answer everyone’s question…yes, we will have another child…whenever life steps in and makes it happen.