Okay, the title may seem a little contradictory, but stay with me and it will all make sense.

I travel a lot for my job. About 99% of my travel involves taking trips where I can drive where I need to go within a day. In fact, because I live too far from a large airport, it makes as much if not more sense to drive places than to fly. Mileage reimbursement is not bad and helps the budget. But the best part of being able to do most of my business travel by car is that my wife and daughters tag along with me on my trips. It should be noted that we homeschool our kids which makes the family travel possible.

Now, there are some obvious disadvantages to trying to travel together. But for the most part, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Frankly, I like having my family with me when I have to go somewhere. It’s much nicer coming back to a hotel with my family waiting for me than to a hotel room that is empty. It’s depressing having to travel alone away from family. I’ve known many people that have had to travel 4-5 days a week and see their families on weekends if at all. I admire folks that can do that and still maintain a healthy family life. I just don’t know how you do it.

Another advantage of travelling together is that we try to tie in educational ventures into our trips. For example, we were in Washington, D.C. earlier in the summer which of course opens up ample opportunities for educational trips. My kids have had the opportunity to not only read about history in books but to experience it by visiting museums and historic homes.

Our girls have learned how to behave like proper young women, in part, from having to travel and behave in restaurants. They’ve also become closer through being forced to amuse each other at the hotels (when they’re not working on schoolwork).

It’s not always easy for us to travel together but it is preferable. When you have to travel for work, could you take your family if you wanted to? It’s not only possible, it’s very rewarding. Next time you have to travel for your job, consider whether it could also be an opportunity for your family to go with you and experience things your destination has to offer that you might not otherwise get to experience.

I was an English major in college. I minored in poetry. Writing. This was before I had a wife or mortgage or son. My freshman-year advisor was also the dorm administrator, so my academic career may not have been as high a priority as underage drinking or enforcing the ban on hot-plates.

I enjoyed literature, was good at writing, and liked the idea of tests with no wrong answers. I’ve simply never had a burning desire to do...anything. My first job out of college was a job. Then I taught English for one wonderful, ulcerous year. We returned to the Midwest after Ian was born, and I found myself, once again, working for a paycheck. For the first three years of Ian’s life, I worked from 7:30 until 4, deposited my check every other Friday, and came home with work being the furthest thing from my mind. My life was my family.

Tradition (and this recent article from Time) says that this hasn’t always been the case, and that men of my generation are going boldly boldly going different:

‘Just as interesting, [fathers] rank their job dead last. That most masculine of traits—the ability to go out into the world and bring home a buck—is receding in importance for the men of Generation X.’

Read more →

Fatherhood 2.0, TIME.com

Seriously? The ‘most masculine of traits’? Have these people never seen Chuck Norris?

I’ve always been secure in my masculinity. I don’t have any. I own (and regularly watch) The Golden Girls on DVD. I’ve no idea what a carberator does (or how to spell it), only recently learned what ‘first down’ means, and think Colin Firth is a fine actor. Maybe it’s no surprise that my career is a distant third in my list of priorities. Maybe the nature of my past employment has made that decision easier for me than other fathers.

I really enjoy my current job. I’m proud of what I do, stay late for meetings, and sometimes work at home. I can see staying where I am for quite some time, and it’s nothing to do with the paycheck. And yet.

In the end, for me, it’s only a job. I still come home to my wife, to my son, and their importance hasn’t changed with my employment. As a man, and a father, my duty is to care for my family, and money is only a very small part of that. Over these past two years, I’ve read a lot of articles, and many books have been published, about the new face of fatherhood. How me and my bretheren are casting off the shackles of partriarchal tradition and finally coming into our own as women.

Tartar sauce. Fatherhood is neither new nor revolutionary. It’s certainly nothing to do with making a buck. If you don’t believe me, see John 3:16. With all due respect to Spike TV and Monday Night Football, the most masculine of traits is love, which should have nothing to do with money. Something about roots, and evil.

And as far as my masculinity is concerned: have you met my son?