Over the past two weeks, I’ve been off work for fall break and since my daughter goes to day care at the public high school where I teach, she’s spent that time with me. People always say that when you are too close with someone you don’t see them change, grow, get bigger, taller, etc… but I’ll tell you that by the time those two weeks were up, I wondered who this young lady was and where’d my toddler go.

Before break, Claire had been biting at day care. She use to be the bitee, but then she learned her lesson I suppose. They told me that if she bit 4 times within 3 days that she would get suspended for two weeks! Me, a school teacher with a daughter who is suspended, and not even three years old yet! Anyway, the very last day before break the day care director calls me to tell me that Claire just bit the same little boy that she always liked to bite, but this time there was a little bit of a smirk to her voice. I thanked her and told her I would pick up Claire at the end of the day, which was the first day of a two week break for the school. Her “suspension” would coincide with two weeks when none of us would be there anyway, so I was lucky. No problem. So now we’re back to school this week, and you know what? That same little boy that she so liked to bite is now the same little boy who she plays with ALL DAY LONG and sits quietly in the rocking chair and reads books to. The other day I told her to go say goodbye to her “boyfriend”, and out of all of the kids there, she ran straight to him and gave him a huge hug. Go figure.

Claire has also been in swimming and gymnastics classes since June. Over break she began floating on her back. Now you may not think that’s too wild, but to a father of a 2 1/2 year old, that is a pretty cool deal. It look liked after weekly lessons for 4 months that something just clicked. She started floating and at her last lesson they said she’d graduate soon.

She returned to day care this week talking more, carrying on full conversations with complete sentences that now make sense, she is taller, thinner and her face continues to share into what she’ll look like for the rest of her life.

If you’ve traveled with a toddler, raise your hand.  Ok…since I can’t if anyone actually has raised their hand, I’ll assume there’s a fair number who have.  In actuality, that’s not the main topic of this post…I was just curious really.

We’ve flown twice now with rug monkey, and really without incident.  The most recent trip was to Austin, TX to visit with my dad and step mom…who we typically see once a year at Father’s Day.

Now being pro’s at the flying thing, we were ready.  Instead of rug monkey’s DVD layer with the craptastic battery, we took my wife’s laptop for DVD viewing.  We took more snacks, coloring books, and less toys.  I mean, it was a 2 hour flight…even I, with the worlds shortest attention span, wouldn’t have noticed or cared much.

Saturday, we got to the airport at 6-ish…I really don’t remember because I was tired, out of it (no coffee yet) and stressed.  Would monkey behave?  Would we have a plane full of people ready to jettison us out of the emergency exit?  Or would it be uneventful.

We boarded a smaller plane, actually the big brother of the plane I took to Lexington last month.  THAT plane was tiny…fat guy and a little plane.  You know you have a small plane when they start shifting people around to balance the weight.  You know it’s a small plane when the pilot stares you down, covers his face and begins to sob.  THIS plane was ok…for a few minutes I thought for sure I’d have an open seat next to me.  Great news for a fat guy, and would give us an alternate seat for monkey.  Alas, no…seconds before the door closed, a rather large French woman boarded and looked hungrily at the empty seat next to me.

After a couple minutes, and assistance from the flight attendant, we were wedged into our row and ready to fly.  My wife looked at me about 20 minutes into the flight and asked why I was leaning across the aisle towards her.  I had no room…Frenchie claimed more than her fair share of the space, and I was left with the table scraps.  Other than that, and a few bumps from the flight attendant and beverage cart, we had a smooth flight…though the plane did lean to the left a little.  I blame Frenchie.

The day and a half visit was fun.  It was nice seeing my dad, and he and my step mom both enjoyed seeing monkey.

Monday…we awoke at 4am!!!  NO where near sunrise, well after sunset...when you’re supposed to be sleeping!  Our flight left at 6:45am…and monkey slept most of the flight home.  This go around, I had a cocky skinny dude in the seat next me…who eyed me and realized he got stuck next to the fat guy.

After we landed, we walked clear across OHare to get to the baggage claim…the pilot sent word of the fat guy and United decided to make the big man walk some…walk it off fatty!!!  Anyway, we got our bag, got monkey and Spamilla a cab, and I headed to work via the train.

It was a fun trip, though short.  So if you are planning to fly with your kids…lay off the cheeseburgers.  And if you’re a bigger guy, wear elbow pads.

I couldn’t decide what to write today, so I wrote three short posts:

This

Last weekend I heard that one of the characters in the Harry Potter books is gay. I have not read any of the books, but apparently the gay aspect of the character (Dumbledore) was never mentioned in any of the books or movies. I don’t get it. Why come out of the closet now? It’s her book, so JK Rowling can make her characters anyway she wants. But shouldn’t she actually write about it in her books instead of bringing it up after the final book has been published?

That

The school district is building a new school in our area so they have to redraw the school boundary lines. When the new boundary was released last spring, we were not affected. Our little girl could continue to go to her current school. Then a bunch of people complained so the school district redrew the boundaries again. This time, our neighborhood is slated for the new school. The thought of going to a new school is making my daughter very sad. I’m all for feedback, but this process of pitting one neighborhood against another sucks.

The Other Thing

We finally broke down and bought a mini-van. I was hoping we could get by with our manly SUV, but it was just too cramped with three car seats in the back. The kids love the mini-van. It’s much roomier and the kids like being able to walk around inside the car. My wife and I like it too, but we have a problem. How do you park the thing? We can’t see the hood of the mini-van when we are driving. As a result, the back of our van usually sticks out of the parking space. Seriously, how do you park a mini-van?

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And as many of you may know, breast cancer is one the leading cause of death among women. The good news is that breast cancer has the highest survival rate out all types of cancer, provided it is detected and treated early enough.

We hear lots of stories in the media about women and their experiences with breast cancer. What we rarely hear about is a dad’s role in helping their children cope and understand. I hope and pray that’s a role I never have to play. But if I ever do, I will have my own dad to look to as a role model. You see, my mom is a breast cancer survivor and my dad did the best thing possible for me as a son. He was there for my mom every single step of the way. He was at every doctor’s appointment, every prayer, and every support group meeting. He was also there for my sister and I.

He showed me how a loving and dedicated father should be in these types of circumstances. He was optimistic without offering us any false hope. He said that we’ll just deal with things as they come and take it one day at a time. He was a pillar of strength when we needed him to be one. He also let us know that he too was just as terrified as we were. As a role model, he showed me that you can be both strong and vulnerable. He also showed me the true meaning of the words in sickness and in health.

Now that I’m a husband and father, the best way I can be a role model for my son is to support organizations in the fight against breast cancer. Prevention is the best weapon and I’m doing my part to make sure that my wife and mother of my son never gets this disease. Why, even this morning when I went grocery shopping I grabbed four Pilsbury Crescent Rolls with a Pink for the Cure label ensuring a donation by General Mills. I just really wished the Chocolate Chip Cookies had a Pink label as well. Hey, every little bit helps.

In all seriousness, breast cancer affects us all. Today, there are more resources available for breast cancer patients and the families that love them. A quick search online brings up thousands of local and national organizations that are here to help those who need it. Until there’s a cure, these organizations could definitely use our help and support as well. So if you’re out grocery shopping, be sure to buy items that donate a portion of their sales to breast cancer research. Or even better provide support directly to one of these organizations. Hopefully some day soon no one will ever have to say or hear the words “Mommy has breast cancer”. 

For the most part, we love the programming for kids on PBS. The content is usually unobjectionable. There are a couple of shows we’d rather our kids not watch, and others that we’ll turn off if the day’s content is iffy, but overall, we’re thankful for positive, mildly educational programming. During our visits to my dad’s house, we’ve also enjoyed the shows on Noggin, too.

One thing we’ve noticed, however, is the huge emphasis on friendships. Most of the shows feature a group of friends who experience life together, and learn from each other. While this sounds very nice, it also reinforces the idea that you should learn primarily from your friends. Examples: Clifford, Sesame Street, Dragon Tales, Barney, Super Why, Maya and Miguel and Cyberchase. In Curious George we have a parental figure in the yellow-clad man, but he’s more of a bumbling sitcom dad, the monkey’s peer. Arthur goes a step further and has parents more involved in the kids’ lives, but when the characters are with their friends or siblings they are at times nasty and insulting.

The only shows that, in my opinion, showcase positive family interactions are the Berenstain Bears and Caillou. Between the Lions might also be a good one, but I’ve not watched it that closely. In these shows, the parents are a positive and active influence on their kids, who openly respect and obey them (or at least try to).

But my wife Jane got me wondering if this programming is merely a reflection upon our own values - even those of us who are Christians. It seems to me that we (Americans) feel it very important that our children have friends, lots of friends, best friends. We have play dates to get kids together with other kids (or maybe that’s just for the parents?). We put kids together in church by age group. Some people put kids in preschool merely for the socialization aspect. And one of the biggest arguments people make against homeschooling is that the isolation of homeschooling produces socially retarded children, unable to interact “normally” with others.

Now I’m not saying that having lots of friends is a bad thing, or that we should not encourage our kids to have friends. I’m just unsure to what extent we simply like our kids to have friends versus relying on them to have friends - and relying on those friendships to teach life lessons we don’t have time to give them. Parents are busier and busier in this technological age, and the more help they can have raising their kids, the better, right? And I’m not just preaching or judging here - I have a child with a very high demand for quality time, and I love the times when he can just play with other kids, to give me a break.

It seems to me that solid, deep relationships with our children can help them to weather all sorts of life’s storms, can overcome friends who could be a bad influence on them, and can foster positive relationships that will last a lifetime.