I just discovered an interesting article over at the CNN website called The ‘daddy’ way: Celebrate parenting differences.

Go read it and tell me what you think.

In what ways does YOUR parenting style as a dad differ from your wife?

Happy thoughts first:

My oldest turned 6 last week. WOW! 6! Happy birthday, Goose!

She also finished Kindergarten and we are going camping with our chapter of Families With Children From China. To top it off, it was Fathers Day weekend! Wow, is right!

Now a little bit of sadness:

The other day I attended a memorial service, of sorts, but more of a celebration of life. I really only bring this up because of one thing, Fatherhood! I say that because this was more of a work thing. This man always seemed to be at work. Maybe it was because I really only saw him at work or working. The service was held at a theatre that this fabulous person worked in for the last 20 or so years of his life. Two of his 7 children were able to work with their Father during this time. His was a well respected member of the theatre community. A person that would share his knowledge freely at ANY time. Sometimes you didn’t know that he was actually teaching you! He was that good. There were fabulous stories, wonderful pictures, tears and giggles. He will be missed greatly!

The one thing that touched me very deeply was the fact that his family didn’t even realize how many people loved him as much as they did. Sure they knew he was loved and respected at work but most of them just thought of him as Dad.

Hearing how much his kids respected him, and how much they loved him, just pulled at my heart. My only thoughts after the celebration were, “If I can only be half of the Father that he was/is then I will surely be a great one!” I only hope my girls will grow up, move on, become successful in what ever they do and still think of me as a Superman Great Dad!

Carl, you will be missed and your legacy wILL live on FOREVER!

I don’t have a wealth of experience being a dad - just six child years (with a 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl). Still, I feel like I’ve learned a lot about what really matters. And if there is really a “secret” to being a good dad, here’s what I think it is: Be there.

I know, it’s not terribly profound. But I’ve found that in my own parenting experience, my simple presence seems to overcome my deficiencies and screwups. At the end of the day, I’ve always got regrets - I wish I had handled this situation differently, did I punish Junior too harshly, I wish I could just lighten up sometimes, etc. But when I’m putting the kids to bed, none of that seems to be in their mind. They seem happy as can be, bearing not a grudge towards me.

All I can think is that when the kids see and know that I am there for them, it is meeting their biggest need.

My boy turned 4 yesterday.

He wanted a party with all of his friends, most of which are imaginary.  Instead, he had to settle for breakfast with Goofy and Sleeping Beauty instead.  You know, his real friends.

We had a blast.  It was joyful and sometimes heavy. It was full of laughter and exhaustion.

All I want to know is, if my boy was the one having the birthday, then why am I the one feeling older?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this aging of the children, it’s bittersweet, and it’s way too fast.

This past Friday my wife had our 3rd child. Everything went well. He’s doing great and she’s doing better. She had her 3rd C-section so the recovery is very difficult.

His name is Carson Andrew Berggren. He is our third boy and his arrival got me thinking a second time. I started reflecting about my future as a parent, like I did when we were expecting our second child. Some of my thoughts were more obvious. And some were a little more uncomfortable for me. Here is the jist:

*I wish I made more money.
*Our house is too small.
*I’ll never finish my book now!
*Will I be able to love this child as much as I love my other ones?

The last one is the important one. When we had our first child it was a big deal since it was actually my wife’s second pregnancy. She miscarried during the first one, so we were so excited when we had him.

Eventually I began to worry because I just couldn’t see how I could love another child as much. This was a huge fear for me since I know firsthand how favoritism can ruin a family and how the negative affects can linger through adulthood.

Not to be too boring, but my parents divorced when I was an infant, I grew up with my father, he remarried when I was 9, and then had another son when I was 10. The point is, there was a lot of favoritism in our home and it never was dealt with. The details will mind-numb you, but here’s one: my bother had a TV in his room before I did and he was 10 years younger than me.

So far, I have loved my first two children equally. Honestly, it isn’t always easy. They are so different. When it comes to activities, I have more in common with one. When it comes to personality, I have more in common with the other one.

And so, favoritism is an evil thing. But make no mistake, I think the battle of dealing with it is a good thing. And I even think the differences of each child are good. It causes us as parents, if we are aware and willing, to become better people.

So will I love Carson as much as my other boys? I look forward to the challenge and will try with all of my being.