You don’t realize how much older they are getting until it’s too late. Right?

My daughter Claire is almost two years old now. Two weeks ago I picked her up from day care and they brought this little girl towards me with her hair pulled back in pigtails like Boo from Monster’s Inc. This entire idea of kids growing up before our eyes is really hitting home now. This past weekend we were planning our annual Oscar party and Claire yanked off her pull-up diaper and ran around the house in her shirt. She kept talking about needing to “peepee”, so we told her to go find the toilet and go herself. She gave us the oddest look and ran off. We heard her go into the bathroom (we’re on a single level), we heard the tinkle and the flush, then she turned on the sink to wash her hands. The girl’s 22 months and 3 foot tall! We were amazed. For the rest of the weekend she ran around trying to potty train herself. The only problem came when she ran into the kitchen screaming “poo poo!”. We went into the bathroom and slid the door open, all the while scraping the pile of poop under the eave of the door. We could barely stop from chuckling and had Claire help clean up the poop and throw it in the toilet. She loves peeing in our toilet, but she rarely will poop in the toilet, except at day care.

At day care she poops more often in the toilet. I also noticed that she took away her kiddie seat that sits on our commode. She props herself up on our toilet ring like a little bird; she’s really growing up. Tonight at the monthly day care meeting the director told us that if we can get Claire potty trained by July, then she can go to the three year old room where many of her friends will be. They also teach a lot more curriculum in that room than in the 1-2 year old room. So tell me dear friends, how were your potty training sessions? Any tips?

I was talking to some people close to me and we discussed religion.  The issue to me is not so much what I believe but what do I say to my kids.  This discussion sparked many thoughts in my mind and created doubts at my decision.

First off, I think religions provide good values which can also be communicated at home.  The basics teachings of respect and love provided by religions are not what I am questioning here.

I was raised as Christian catholic (French) and went to church once per two weeks and frequented a catholic school but never to a degree which was imposed.  I was raised in a small town and that’s just the way it was. 

I have questioned religions from a young age because my father hates religion but he only communicated this by not going to church.  We went with my mom who was there every Sunday.  This gave me a quick understanding there was two sides to the story.

To make a long story short, I have concluded there is no god and that faith and hope are a creation of mankind to remove the responsibilities we have in conducting ourselves.  For an adult, this conclusion came from a base…i.e. catholic Christian.  Not believing in god and faith is not my question here…

My question is….What do I tell my kids?  Have you ever been in a situation that conflicted with your thoughts and decided to let it go for the sake of the kids?

Do I sideline the question like my dad did and let them discover it for themselves?  I understand uncertainty is not the best answer to a large question like this one for kids.  I am assuming a child (like myself) needed this right/wrong and bases to which it can start reflect and question the status quo when he/she reaches this age of reasoning.

I chickened out of the decision as my spouse chose we would be Catholic Christians and decided it worked out ok for me.  They will go to catholic school and have been baptized.  I did feel like a total hypocrite standing there.  I am now struggling with what I will answer my kids when they start asking… Who and what is God?

I know I am raising a large ‘topic’ here, I have read many of you who are religious Individuals.  I am looking for your feedback on what you have or haven’t told your kids about religion and how it has panned out.

I love being a stay-at-home dad, but there are a couple of things I envy about you working dads…

Most obviously, you guys are lucky to have the adult interaction every day, even if it is work-related conversations.  Sometimes I just end up talking to myself so I can stay in practice.

The thing I most envy, however, is your “end of the day quality time”.... Not to say that I don’t have quality time with my kids.  I do… Tons of it.  But it sometimes tends to get lost in the chaos of a long day.

Working dads get to have a concentrated quality time in the evening.  For you, the joy of seeing your children gives you a huge boost to overcome work-related exhaustion.  You get that second wind, happy to be away from the workplace and back with your family.  And you give your focus to your kids for a few hours, not minding that they are dragging out the bedtime rituals just so they can spend a little more time with you.

It’s a little different as a stay-at-home dad.  I don’t get a second wind.  And as bedtime rolls around I’ve had my kids pretty much in my face for twelve solid hours.  It’s even more extreme because I homeschool my son.  So, by 8 o’clock my attititude is sort of “I’ve had enough” while the working dad’s is “I can’t get enough.”

I have to practice a lot of patience with my young son and daughter at bedtime.  They don’t understand that I’m tired of wiping noses and reading stories.  They don’t spend the whole day focused on me, so they don’t really need a break from daddy.  Even though it’s bedtime, their little brains are still thinking up curious questions to ask me, like “What’s the wildest country on Earth?”

Which reminds me, I need to Google that so I can give my son an answer in the morning.  It all starts back up at 8am.

Happy New Year, everyone! Last Sunday was the start of Chinese New Year. This is the year of the golden pig...or is it? (More on this later.) Sadly, I have to admit that I know very little about my culture. I was born in Hong Kong, but was raised in America since the age of five. As a kid, I hated being Asian. The other kids made fun of the clothes I wore, the language I spoke, and the food I ate. For the last time, I have never eaten dog meat. No, I’m not related to the other Asian kid in class. Nope, I don’t know kung fu either.

It wasn’t easy growing up Chinese in a Caucasian world. As a kid, I didn’t want to know about my culture. Now that I’m a parent, I want to know about China — it’s customs and history. And I want my kids to know too. That’s why I wrote this post. It’s not about being a dad; it’s about my research on something I want to share with my kids. I think you might find it interesting too, so read on.

This is supposed to be the year of the golden pig. The golden pig only occurs once every 60 years. However, if you factor in the principles of ying and yang (I admit it, I don’t understand this part), this is a super lucky golden pig year — one that occurs only once in 600 years. As a result, having a baby this year is considered very lucky.

But according to my research, this year is actually the year of the fire pig. At first, I thought golden pig and fire pig meant the same thing. Kinda like using the word boar or hog instead of pig. But golden pig and fire pig are not the same thing.

For those of you who don’t know, the Chinese lunar year is associated with one of 12 animals (rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig). In addition, each lunar year is associated with one of five elements (metal, wood, water, fire, and earth). As a result, there are 60 possible combinations in the Chinese lunar cycle, which repeats every 60 years. Last year was the year of the fire dog. This year it’s the year of the fire pig, not the year of the metal (gold) pig. The last golden (metal) pig year was in 1971 and the next one will be in 2031.

So, why are there so many people calling this the year of the golden pig? There are several reasons for this. First, fire is associated with the colors red and yellow. In Chinese culture, red also means wealth. Hence, a fire pig is a red pig, which in turn could be interpreted as a golden pig (wealth). In addition, gold is yellowish in color.

There’s also a theory that involves the Korean government. According to this theory, the Korean government is calling this the year of the super lucky golden pig to encourage people to have babies. South Korea has one of the world’s lowest birth rates. Unless families have more babies, the population in South Korea is expected to decline in the future.

Finally, there’s marketing. Guess which is easier to market, the fire pig or the golden pig? That’s right, the golden pig. It’s much easier to sell products and services associated with wealth and gold than products related to fire. This marketing emphasis isn’t limited to just the states. It applies to China as well. Even though China is still a communist country, it has become much more market driven.

So, there you have it. The legend of the golden pig is just that, a legend (at least for this year).

It’s amazing how quickly you get sucked into being a parent.  Most of us probably have no recollection whatsoever of what life was like before we had kids. I talk about that with my wife all the time.  We met in 1995. I was 28 years old. We got married in 1998. Our first child, Elijah, arrived in late 1999.  I was 32 years old.  Now, with three children, I have no recollection of life before Elijah.  It’s like 31+ years vanished.

I think it’s because we sink all of ourselves into being a parent.  When they are babies, we protect them from bad weather and feed them every four hours. When they start to grow, we become less of a survival tool and more of a role model to them.  They start to look up to us and the pressure is on to make sure we show them the right way to live.

Lately, though, I’ve been noticing that I’ve been learning as much from them as they are from me.  My life is so complicated and their’s is so not.  Just watching them play for fifteen minutes makes me realize how simple things can be.

The other night I was lying next to Elijah when he went to sleep.  I usually spend 5-10 minutes in there every night just chatting about things.  He has a good friend at school named Daniel.  They eat lunch together, play at recess together, etc.  Well, on this night Elijah was telling me how Daniel teaches him how to do magic tricks.  Every day, Daniel teaches Elijah another trick.  “He’s an expert at magic, Dad.” I said that was excellent and suggested that Daniel should come over sometime on the weekend so they could hang out.

“He’s a great mentor, Dad.”

I smiled.

“How did you know that word?”

“From Anakin Skywalker.”

It’s funny how I leave his room every night and it’s like returning to reality.  While I am in there, life is simple.  We talk about Star Wars and his friends at school.  We discuss karate and his latest spelling test.  That’s about as intense as it gets.....spelling tests.  When I kiss him goodnight and leave his room, life comes back.  Make their lunches, do the bills, file the taxes, etc.

In a way, he’s become my mentor as much as I have become his.