A small reminder to the New Dads out there:

No matter what your doing, watch your kids brush their teeth!

You might ask yourselves, “What is he talking about?”

Let’s start at the beginning. It is time for the girls to get upstairs and get ready for bed. Off they go with Mom right behind.They get ready for bed in their PJ’s and start to play “A little bit” as always, not a problem. After about 10 minutes I check on them and see that they are in the hallway and they are drawing on their Doodle Bears that they got from Santa. Fun stuff. Now it is time to brush teeth. I get them set and go off to check email. Now you need to understand that I have Wi-Fi in my house and I can check email from my bed. Which I do ALL of the time. So after a little bit of playtime with the battery operated tooth brush and brushing their teeth they start signing the song from Cinderella, “Sweet, sweet, nightingale...” which they do quite well. This is the song that Cinderella sings when she is cleaning the floor. Now I am really listening...honest, but I guess I didn’t put two and two together.  Well they asked for wash cloths and got them. Then they went back into the bathroom. Well the giggling started again and I did look up.  Can anyone guess what I saw?

Water, all over the place! YIKES! Well that ended with me laughing and cleaning up the mess and sending them to their room to pick out a book for bed.
Oh and did I say that my wife was next to me working on her stuff for the next school week?

So Dads...no matter how much you know that your girls/kids are doing what you think they are doing, take a second, even if you are busy, and watch them. It will almost always be an entertaining bit of fun!!  Whatever you do, don’t assume that your wife is watching them, because if you do then their will always be a mess to clean up.

Just some advice Baba to Baba!

I think that the bulk of life is found in regular moments, not vacations or adventures per se, but in the mundane grind of the day that can too easily pass us by.

I have been taking my two year old son out for Saturday morning ‘choo choo’ rides over these past two months and something nearly effortless like this has turned out to be incredibly bonding.  This train, or ‘choo choo’ as he says, is simply a railway to Downtown and costs $1.75 round trip but to my boy it is one of his favorite things on earth right now.  In fact, just last night, he told his Grandma on the phone, “Daddy choo choo” (translation: My Daddy takes me on the train).

While on our twenty-three minute ride, I get to hold my boy close and talk with him.  We look out the windows at the trucks, roadways, and buildings.  I teach him new words and that you have to push the button on the door to exit or that you have to place money into the ticket machine to get the ticket.  Mostly though, we just hang out.  And of course we get to meet others too since toddlers are conversation magnets.  My son naturally says “hello” to the homeless man or to those who look different than we do, and so in a small way on our simple trip, an often typical barrier between class and race begins to crumble.

I don’t feel like a superhero on Saturday mornings.  In fact, I usually wish that my boy would stop waking up so early.  But I drag myself out of bed, get my masculine diaper bag ready, scrape up some change and then lead my son on a simple outing.  A regular moment but in this time I become his hero (and my wife loves the alone time). 

My little girl loves to fall asleep in my arms.  On almost a daily basis, we’ll dance around the room, listening to a different style of music.  She loves jazz, electronic, bluegrass, rock and roll, new age and more.  So does her papa.  So we make the selection and move gracefully around, her tucked closely into my left arm with my right arm holding up both of her legs.  I can usually tell when she is about ready to doze off. She fusses and squirms but for a few seconds and then she is quiet and still.  I’ll continue to slowly rock and walk mindfully around the room.  After 5-10 minutes, I am assured a good 30 minute to 1 hour nap.  Some parents might think to put your little one down on a bed or in a crib but not I, not usually.  I’ve tried a few times to lay her down but she wakes up.  Frankly, though, I prefer to hold her.  I nestle up in my recliner in the same room where my stereo continues to politely play our day’s musical flavor.  I kick back the foot rest, wrap us in a blanket and have my moment of Zen.

I’ve had these moments since Nina, my now 8 month old daughter, was born.  We would walk and dance, she would fall asleep and I would take the opportunity to savor my daughter’s presence and re-affirm my connection with the grace that moves us.  This communion with my daughter, myself and Spirit has developed a great connection between us.  She smiles big at me from across the room. She smiles when I come home. In fact, she is so often smiling and happy.  I’ll chalk up her happiness to be her personal acknowledgement of something so much greater than our individual lives and a part of me believes that my time spent still in introspection has helped my daughter maintain her closeness to God.

When I first got out of school and started my first ‘real’ job, I remember giving my boss and other older co-workers grief for seemingly talking about nothing except their house and especially their kids.  Jeesh, I thought, couldn’t these guys talk about REAL stuff like football, beer, movies and possibly more football?  Do we really need to know how much mulch you spread last weekend or how much little Suzie ate last night at the Olive Garden?  C’mon, people, us single guys are dying of boredom here.

Then I got married and I found myself starting to insert comments regarding MY yard and how you could get mulch cheaper at Home Depot this week.  “Did I just say that?”, screamed my ever-shrinking singlehood mentality.  Instead of how wasted I got at the club this weekend, I was touting the new specials at Olive Garden.  What the?!

Then I became a dad and all bets were off.  You’d think I was Gwen’s sporting agent and I was trying to get her a new long-term contract.  Hey guys, guess what Gwen did last night?  And don’t get me started with the pictures… I went from having zero personal pictures at my desk to having a Gwen Shrine that is slowly overtaking all open desk and wall space.  A computer desktop background that is updated regularly—I’m sure the Gwen ‘06 Screensaver will be coming soon.

It’s not just that I spend a good portion of my non-working time with Gwen.  I just simply can’t stop thinking about how much I love her.  Don’t get me wrong. There are times (primarily at 2 AM when she’s screaming like a Banshee on crystal meth) when I’m not in my most loving mood, but they always seem to evaporate as soon as she smiles, giggles or pulls the ultimate melter and says “Da-da”.  My single days were fun but I wouldn’t trade them for the unbelievable experiences I’m having as a dad.

So, watch out young recruits.  Although you may not be able to appreciate it now, one day you will more than likely become one of us and talk endlessly about your children.  Trust me, it’s better than you could ever imagine.

Remember being single and childfree?

Wow! All your time and money to yourself. All the fun I had. The places I went. Oh man.

Remember the time out with your pals? Getting in trouble or doing something you know you were not supposed to do? Meeting the one gal you knew you would want to be with forever? Well those days are gone. All that time and effort spent looking to create what we have now.

Some might not be so happy; some perhaps were stuck once the rabbit died. Well the choices we make - and have made - have put us where we are now. Perhaps some we would love to take back or some we wish we had made earlier. Either way, here we are today - the end of 2005 - heading into 2006.

I look back and think, “Well, did I make the right decisions last year? Would I change anything? Do I regret anything?” Those answers will come as time moves on. The single most important decision we all made was to commit to our families and our children. We could live our lives alone with our friends, with our money we make and have many man toys. Nevertheless, look at the things we would have been giving up. We would not be able to have our special shopping events for Christmas, or take our little one for a hike or have a princess living with us.

No, I don’t think I would change any of that. I for one like having to cater to a princess. I like being the one who can scare away the worst monsters. The one who can be the super hero every time we play. I love being called Prince Dad in public. Perhaps, I should not have bought the motorcycle or the boat. Maybe I should be saving more each month or eating better. However, in the end being a dad is the best thing that has happened.

Have a great new year and keep looking for all the good in life.